Dating is hard enough on its own, without adding on top of that the cultural differences that couples coming from different countries, or even continents, face in their every day lives. I am not saying that dating away from your own culture is not worth it, love finds you afterall and being in a relationship that spans cultural boundaries is equally an exciting and rewarding experience. But you do have to be aware that not everything will be as smooth sailing as some people, or the media make us believe.

 

PHOTO BY Wilhan José Gomes COURTESY OF PIXABAY

 

Here are some pro tips to help you navigate through this multicultural relantionship, and hopefully will make your trip trouble-free:

1. Respect each others culture & embrace your differences

When you date outside your own culture, the likelihood that you are not going to understand everthing about your partner’s culture is almost guaranteed. On some occasions, you might not agree with how certain things are done in their cultures, or misinterpret intent. For example, if you watched a certain TV show you'll have witnessed a British woman losing their mind at a Latino for dancing Salsa with strangers. This activity is very common in the Dominican Republic, and across Latin America. Dancing is in our DNA and is an important part of Latin American culture. 

But, it is not a way to flirt, as many could think; but a way to express your identity; and, of course, to have some healthy fun along the way.

 

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2. Take time to learn their language

Dating someone that doesn’t speak the same first language as you can be very frustrating. Even if one of you speaks a common language, if they aren't fluent you are not always able to engage in deeper conversation, clear up misunderstandings, or even if one of you are fluent in the others language, there is still plenty of room for misunderstandings.

There is also the extended family to think about. You can't guarantee that everyone will be bilingual, in fact they absolutely won't, and silence over the dinner table, or an inability to make even small talk with important family members is going to be awkward and potentially alienate them from the family.

Futhermore, if you find yourselves at family gatherings, or amongst friends, then their native tongue will take priority. This can leave your monolingual partner feeling left out, and puts pressure on their partner to translate everything - which pulls their attention away from family or friends.

This is why we should always make the effort to learn the native language of the person you are dating. Even if its only to an elementary level it will make everything easier, as you will be able to communicate what you really feel, and amongst family and friends without that barrier.

 

3. Explore each others cuisine

They say food is the fastest way to someones heart, but its more than that. Food is a part of our cultural identities, our heritage, our upbringing and often what brings us together with friends and family.

If we don’t give the opportunity to try new cuisines, we will be at a disadvantage when dating internationally. This is because food brings people together; and if you don’t attempt to explore more than your normal steak, or fish and chips, then the probability that your multicultural relantionship will work is reduced.

It's also important not to turn your nose up at your partners food, you should always be willing to try new things and show enthusiasm. Rejecting food that is alien to you, or insulting it, will often be directly insulting to your partners culture and to themselves personally.

So, put yourself out there and give new flavours and textures a chance. Who knows? You might find your new favorite meal.

 

PHOTO BY William Choquette, COURTESY OF PEXELS

 

 

4. Visit each other’s countries of origin

As frequently as possible in fact. Most international couples would agree that meeting in only the country of one of the lovers will bring trouble. It's quite unfair for only one partner to handle the whole logistics of travel and moving, it's a lot of work and the expenses involved can quickly stack up.

When you've made the move to one of your countries, its doubly important to head home as frequently as your time and budget allows. Failing to do so can isolate your partner from their family and friends and can even lead to causing resentment from the family back home.

So, be fair, and try to do 50% / 50%.

 

Photo By Ernesto Rodríguez, COURTESY OF PIXABAY

 

5. Respect their religion and beliefs

This should go without saying, but when dating a person from a different culture, you could find out that you don’t share the same religion or beliefs. So, you need to be very careful not to disrespect their religion, traditions, and the customs around these sensitive topics, as it could be a deal breaker for the other person.

6. Accept that you won’t share the same interests

Dating internationally means that you and your partner did not grow with the same education, leisure activities, hobbies, etc. So, you need to accept that you might not always share the same interests as different countries have their own common cultural interests; and in some occasions, these interests could be very different from one place to another. 

This could be due to simple geography, people from mountainous areas often have hobbies that align to that, or eating outside in warmer climes, through to more culturally intimate activities such as bathing in hot springs.

So, be open minded and try each others hobbies and activies. Doing so will bring you together and help your partner to feel appreciated.

7. Build trust and say no to jealously

When Dating someone from another country jealousy can become a thing. At times there may be distance between you and your partner, and the way people interact varies from place to place. You have to really trust each other to be able to handle jealously, as it can quickly kill any romance, and it can be a tough grind to try to solve it once it sets in.

 

PHOTO BY WAY HOME STUDIO, COURTESY OF FREEPIK

 

8. Communication is key

This pro tip is connected with the previous one, as trust is based on a good communication. Without communication between you, it is impossible to be able to trust each other. 

9. Make quality time for each other

Living or spending time apart in different countries means different time zones. So, making time for each other across timezones will become harder in an international relantionship. This is why it is crucial to make phonecalls or videocalls with your partner, each day or each week; at times that are fair for both of you, even if it is for only 10 minutes. Otherwise, the relantionship will eventually die off.

So, show commitment and make time for your partner.

10. Set real goals and stay strong

This is more appropriate for those who are dating internationally, but when dating internationally it can become disheartening if you don’t set clear and realistic goals to end the distance between you and move forward with what is often a more complicated relationship than normal. If you don’t estabish these goals from the beginning and constantly work towards them, it can feel like there isn't a future for you.

As we could realize, being in a multicultural relationship is not a walk in the park. It requires energy, money, compromise, trust and great skills in communication. But, don’t be afraid, just be aware. Hopefully, these tips will help you in the world of international dating.

 

Cover Image by katemangostar on Freepik